My crazy to Amazing

The young girl in me loves a good horse story. The adolescent in me is inspired by girl power stories. The mother in me longs to see persons with disabilities portrayed the same as any other character role in a movie. Trifecta -  Ride Like A Girl  Netflix 

What’s Spoon Theory? “ The Spoon Theory ”, a personal story by Christine Miserandino, is popular among many people dealing with chronic illness. It describes perfectly this idea of limited energy, using “spoons” as a unit of energy. I learned about the Spoon Theory while participating in LiveStrong after my MBC  The life events of March 2021 have taught me the following: When I am stubbornly determined, I feel like I am gathering spoons from obscure hidden closets within my body. Using these reserves, I am able to accomplish more than I initially thought I could handle. Once the spoons are gone, my body and mind are spent ... bone dry. I lose the ability to focus. My body heavily sinks into whatever position that requires minimal effort to support it and I become an exposed turtle outside its protective shell. Uncomfortable at my exposure I may lash at others seeking to advise or console me. I may reflexively respond to irritations with adrenaline, very short-term. I have to rest.....

My mother's move prompted me to reconnect with some of her long-time friends. What wonderful women and wonderful memories. Their friendship began and strengthened through participation in a monthly book club.They all had their favorite parts of book club. Marsha loved WWII and inspirational literature introducing the members to works like The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Bloom and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Lynn favored leading the discussions with thoughtful questions from fastidious notes taken as she read each and every book, often the first to obtain a copy and read. Mom contributed her love for British literature, which for a awhile also included volumes of the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency series, and novels by Anne Perry. Candi and Sydney, her mother in law, faithfully attended and contributed to book discussions and occasional organized movie viewing for a book at the Pine Valley Ranch theater room. Glynis leaned toward non-fiction and philosophical books. I was among sev...

When I entered my 88 year old mother's room this evening to tell her about her upcoming move she greeted me with "Oh, hi. Lisa, I just want to die. I am not suicidal but I just don't want to go on. I am tired of this life. I have been praying for it to end, but I am still here." I told her that I was hopeful that the upcoming move next week would be so much better for her. They have two caregivers at all times instead of one; seven in total. They have an in-house stylist for her hair at no additional cost, manicures and pedicures, a hospital bed with a pressure alternating mattress, chickens that the residents raised, a small dog, two cats. Her sister-in-law and daughters could visit indoors, along with her current AFH provider. She will be within proximity of where she currently resides. I showed her picturesof her new room, and ones sent by her new provider. "This is going to be better" I said. " I won't have (---caregiver---) yelling at me anymor...

It all happened so quickly.  Thursday I learned that my mom's Adult Family Home was voluntarily closing its doors. The owner, one of 2 care providers, re-injured her back, necessitating surgery and possible end to her caregiving career. With our son's move on Saturday and a need to move mom within 30 days we had to get on it ASAP. I was so overwhelmed but knew it must all happen. So from Covid vaccine last Wednesday to searching for another AFH on Thursday,  Faslodex injections on Friday, son's move on Saturday, provider and sisterly plus spouses conversations on Sunday,  to a pop in visit to a friend today who told me about a private room in a very reputable AFH today who happens to be a friend (relative) of the current provider, who then contacted the potential provider and she reviewed the assessment and accepted mom's referral. And just like that - problem solved! For the past week I have struggled with insomnia, and night sweats, shivers, and trying to keep my brea...

Some changes no matter how much they are desired create pressure and discomfort. Our second eldest left the nest today, officially under his own rental agreement. This is a huge step, years and months in the making fraught with conflict mixed with reluctance and uncertainty. But oh what a relief to end this long arduous battle. To enable growth and maturation, there must be some catalyst for change.