This is my year of saying "No, no thank you." "No" to daily chocolate indulgence. "No" to purchasing every piece of fabric that speaks to me. "No" to collecting children's picture books because they are so cute. "No" to going to bed early after work. "No" to doing other people's work when they themselves are capable but it is easier for me to do it. "No" to clutter at home or work because I will put it away later. "No" to eating first and praying later. "No" to spending all my time sitting indoors. This is my year to say "Yes, yes please". "Yes" to healthy eating. "Yes" to completing what I have started. "Yes" to spending time on my feet and outdoors. "Yes" to loving thoughts and kind words. "Yes" to temple work. "Yes" to organizing, and preparing each day. "Yes" I can and "Yes" I will...
Yesterday I felt more like myself than I have in weeks. I felt playful, loving, and kind. I greeted people and spoke with them heart to heart, shared my testimony in class, and genuinely felt happy. One of our Sister missionaries reached out to me with so much love and told me that their companionship was fasting for me. I had some Sister phone time, craft planning. I coughed a bit, but didn't nap all day. I felt the Holy Spirit near me, calming my anxiety. It was a chilly but beautiful day. This afternoon is the PET Scan. My 3rd over the course of the years of breast cancer. My insurance is reluctant to approve them, but we certainly have justification beyond CT with the malignant fluid around my heart that occurred last month. I have been jittery, not about the procedure but the anticipation of results. Will it accurately reflect progression? Will it lead to treatment planning? Will it reveal a course to follow or a timeline consistent with miracles...
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